The Single-Player Perspective
One of our higher goals in life is to be happy with who we are and what we do. Do you believe it is up to you to attain this happiness? Or do you seek to attain it from an external source?
The primary reason we find it hard to achieve these states is that we are used to playing the multiplayer game - having external sources decide how we feel.
What Do I Mean By The Single-Player Perspective?
The reality is life is a single-player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations and nobody cares. Before you showed up, nobody cared. It’s all a single-player.
- Naval Ravikant
As harsh as this might seem, it is only one side of the coin. The other side is where we understand the saying "l, and only I am responsible for how I think and feel."
We often play a multiplayer game - seeking happiness in social status or money. Do we let them decide how we feel about ourselves?
Let us look at this in a little more detail...
The 'if-then' Principle
The 'If-then' principle is half the cause of our suffering. It stems from the multiplayer perspective - if my boss complains less, then I'll be free; If my friend helps me, then I'll like her; If I get a promotion, then I'll be happy.
When we change from this multiplayer perspective to single-player, we decide the way we want to feel in response to an external factor.
Why This Perspective Can Be Life-changing
Realising this brings in a relaxing feeling. It has to. Why do we have to let an external factor decide for our contentment and satisfaction when this is our life to live?
Having others around and feeling a sense of belonging is necessary. But what they do and what the situation is should not be the deciding factor in how we feel.
Upon constant application of the single-player perspective, interactions with others will become effortless. We will be able to accomplish so much more and live a life of fulfilment. More importantly, this will be a great way of generating some self-love.
How This Has Helped Me
I remind myself that it's this one chance I have to experience the vastness of life. Why not be in control of what I can, and let go of what I can't!
Growing up, I did what I thought would make me feel happy - maintain a certain standard of being in order to be validated. I let others decide whether I had to be content or satisfied. My happiness was based on them making me feel so. As a result, I felt anxious and uneasy on a constant basis.
I don't have to blame myself, for that was a lesson for me to change my ways.
Now that I’m training myself to play single-player, I feel connected to who I am. This has allowed me to focus on my goals and take action to manifest them.
Let us remind and nudge ourselves to feel content and happy when we are caught up in finding it elsewhere.
Post Credits: Naval Ravikant, for opening my eyes to this perspective.
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